Engaged and Jobless: Am I Marrying a Gold Digger?

A young couple’s engagement rapidly became complex when the fiancée expressed a wish to leave her work, causing a firestorm of online criticism. The couple, who met while working for the same company, found early on that their wages were drastically different. Following their engagement, the 26-year-old fiancée decided she wanted to quit her work, prompting others on social media to label her as a possible gold digger, which her fiancé strongly opposed.

A 30-year-old man posted his predicament on the AITAH subreddit, seeking advice on what had become a troubling situation. He said he met his fiancée, who works in marketing, at a workplace event 2.5 years ago. He was immediately drawn to her, and their relationship has grown ever since.

The man, a researcher at a prominent technology business, liked her organizing abilities, which matched his own issues with ADD. Their relationship dynamic appeared to function well, with her assisting him in being organized, and he valued her patience and beneficial influence on his life.

As their relationship progressed, the pair had their first financial discussion when she moved in with him. Despite knowing about his financial stability, she was startled to find that he made fifteen times more than she did. They decided to split expenses depending on their earnings, which worked well given her independence and self-sufficiency.

However, things changed once he proposed. Though she had never asked for anything lavish before, she demanded a $15,000 diamond engagement ring, insisting that the expenditure was worthwhile because she would wear it for the rest of her life. He eventually consented, despite his discomfort with spending so much money. However, her propensity of bringing up the ring’s worth throughout talks began to bother him.

The problem worsened when she told him, just a month after the proposal, that she was leaving her job. She argued that organizing their wedding would demand her full focus, and she got tired of her long work hours. When he mentioned her outstanding student loans, she dismissed the problem, claiming that they were now a team and she wasn’t bothered about them anymore.

This sparked a violent debate, with him expressing his displeasure with her decision to quit at such a young age, especially because they didn’t intend to have children for a time. He wanted her to remain independent in case something happened to him.

Social media users had diverse views, with some accusing the fiancée of being a gold digger. Comments ranged from worries about her leaving her career to expectations that she would not return to work after the wedding. Others advised the man to safeguard himself with a prenuptial agreement, afraid that she might take advantage of his fortune.

In a follow-up post, the man stated that he had a calm conversation with his fiancée after meditating on the issue. She admits to feeling overwhelmed by the wedding planning and work pressures, prompting her to seek a break. However, she agreed to look for a new career after their wedding and even considered going to school to pursue her master’s degree. While certain worries remained, they arrived a compromise.

Ultimately, the man acknowledged the need of trusting his fiancée if they were to marry, despite others’ reservations. He understood why some may call her a gold digger, but he trusted in her desire to build a future together. The scenario made him resolve to strike a balance between hoping for the best and planning for the worst, insuring their future security.